Man Assaults Police Officer With Toy Monkey

A man arrested in a theft from a convenience store is accused of attacking a police officer with one of the stolen items — a stuffed monkey. Preston James Phipps, 24, of Des Moines, was arrested late Saturday night after allegedly causing problems at the Git-N-Go convenience store at 2601 S.W. Ninth St. in Des Moines. Police Officer Andrew Pirtle said in a report that he saw a man carrying two stuffed animals leaving the store about 10:20 p.m. Moments later the officer was flagged down and informed that the man had just made a mess in the store. Officer Pirtle stopped the man near Southwest Ninth and Loomis Avenue. As they talked, Pirtle noted the man’s mood switched quickly from passive to aggressive. When Pirtle tried to take Phipps into custody, Phipps allegedly swung around and hit the officer in the face with a stuffed monkey.” w/ photo

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Original Keyboard Cat

“Thanks to Jeff Gross, I’m having daymares about this creepy segment of the old Andy’s Gang show. The blank look in the cat’s eyes, peering through the organ pipes, rivals any horror flick. How kiddies watched this sh*t without waking up in the middle of the night screaming in terror is beyond me.” — naturalstupidity

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Gummi Army Guys

“Some toys are quickly forgotten, like the, uh, see… we’ve forgotten them already. But other toys seem to live on forever… The Hula Hoop, The Barbie Doll, and the Little Plastic Army Guys. For generations, boys have been playing with these little plastic soldiers. We reenacted famous land battles. We sent them on commando raids on our sister’s Barbie dolls. We even conducted secret military testing as we melted them with magnifying glasses. Now there’s a candy inspired by this classic toy? These Gummi Army Guys are not just tough… they’re tasty, too. You can have them fight it out, and eat the losers!” w/ photos

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