“One can only wonder whether Zachary P. Ramirez has a slow hand to go with that apparently lead foot of his. The 21-year-old motorist got pulled over recently by Naperville police, after a patrol officer clocked him driving 111 mph through a section of the Springbrook Prairie Forest Preserve, where the speed limit is posted at 45 mph. As traffic cops are wont to do, police asked Ramirez where he was going in such a hurry. Ramirez reputedly replied he was ‘trying to go have sex with a girl he liked.’ Police Sgt. Gregg Bell said Ramirez’s troubles began about 2:06 a.m. Saturday, when an officer was on patrol and on the lookout for speeders along a stretch of Plainfield-Naperville Road. The officer noted a black, 1994 Honda Prelude driving north from 87th Street, Bell said via e-mail. The officer’s radar unit initially clocked the car traveling at 104 mph ‘and finally locked at 111mph.” w/ photo

“Wayne O’Donnell takes his pet for a walk around his Hampshire town, the looks on people’s faces leave no doubts they think he’s quackers. And there’s no ducking the issue, Boris isn’t the normal type of creature you’d expect to see loyally wandering along behind his owner, let alone sitting peacefully in the passenger seat of a car, enjoying a sip of beer in a bar or strolling along a Spanish beach. But Wayne, from Romsey, insists that was part of the appeal of having an Aylesbury duck for a pet. ‘People sort of look gobsmacked. They can’t work it out,’ he said. ‘But it’s the dogs that really can’t work it out and sit there and think ‘what are you?’, but he’s not worried at all by them. ‘He doesn’t think he’s a duck.” w/ photos

“A California man has sued BMW North America and a motorcycle-seat maker claiming that a four-hour round-trip ride on his 1993 BMW bike with a “ridge-like” seat gave him “a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection)” that’s lasted 20 months and counting. While there have been concerns about narrow “banana” bike seats causing loss of feeling in that area — for men and women — this is the first report we’ve seen of way too much. The product liability lawsuit against BMW and well-known aftermarket seatmaker Corbin-Pacific was filed in California Superior Court in San Francisco last Thursday by Henry Wolf and his lawyer, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito. The Wolf v. BMW lawsuit alleges that Wolf has continued to suffer the erection problem since the September 2010 ride — and, as we know from Viagra ads, anything past four hours is a problem.” w/ photo

“A noted Polish rapper has installed a sculpture of a giant dog’s mess in the south-western city of Wroclaw, with the aim of prompting locals to be more conscientious about their pets. Lukasz Rostkowski, aka L.U.C, laid the gleaming marvel on a patch of pristine grass by the city’s Dominican Square. ‘Every year, dog messes pop up quicker than snowdrops,’ the artist told reporters, as quoted in the Gazeta Wyborcza daily. ‘Our action is a bit of fun,’ he explained.” w/ photo

“A lorry driver has been fined after dozing off at the wheel and colliding with a motorway sign advising ‘Tiredness can kill – take a break’. David Loudon, 34, of Hamilton, admitted driving carelessly on the A74(M) in Dumfries and Galloway in March last year. Prior to the accident he had driven for more than two hours over the statutory limit without taking a break. He was fined a total of $1,822 and had nine points endorsed on his license.” w/ photo

“A paintballing company has come up with an ingenious way of getting around the fox hunting ban after launching a package which involves competitors chasing after a ‘human fox.’ Fox hunters left frustrated at being unable to pursue their favorite rural pastime since the hunting ban was introduced in England and Wales in 2005 now have the opportunity to satisfy their predatory urges with paintball guns. Groups of up to 10 people armed with paintball equipment have the chance to track down and chase the ‘human fox’ through dense woodlands.” w/ photos

“A guide dog owner was given an on-the-spot fine when his animal fouled in a city park – even though he explained he could not see what had happened. Ian Bradwell, who is registered blind, was handed the $106 fixed penalty by a city warden while he was walking his Labrador-retriever cross, Iona, in Braunstone Park… “I apologized, explaining I was visually impaired and held my stick up to show him. “I asked for a bag so I could go back and pick it up, even though guide dog owners are exempt from picking it up because they can’t see it. “He didn’t seem interested in anything other than giving me the $106 fixed penalty ticket. I telephoned the council but got the same sort of attitude.” w/ photos

“Residents from a quiet seaside town in Devon have received an unexpected invitation to a foam party after one washed up on Seaton Bay sea front during yesterday’s bad weather. The strange sea foam arrived on the south coast of England last night and covered the whole beach front along Fisherman’s Gap leaving local homeowners baffled. A white sheet of snow appeared to have fallen all along the bay, with spring’s barmy weather conditions seemingly taking another strange twist following weeks of up and down temperatures. Blizzard-like conditions are likely to have sparked the appearance of the sea foam, with locals reporting a combination of blustery winds, heavy rain and choppy waters.” w/ photos

“A Suffolk man has spent five years building a car from scratch – but can’t drive it himself because he is blind. Pete Golsby, 68, felt as if his life had fallen apart when he was registered blind 12 years ago after suffering an immune system problem. Having always dreamed of building a car, and with lots of time suddenly on his hands, he decided to give it a go anyway. Incredibly he managed to piece together the silver Pembleton Brooklands sports car with the help of magnifiers and visual aids… “I’ve always wanted to build a car so I thought I’d give it a try and see how I got on. “I’m really proud that I managed to build it all. For me it was a matter of being able to prove to myself that I could still do it.” w/ photo

“Toowoomba mother Kylie Steger’s appetite for fast food has been ruined by a rude surprise at the bottom of a burger box. Mrs Steger was irate after lifting up her Hungry Jack’s hamburger last Thursday to find a crude picture of a penis drawn on the inside of the box. She said grabbing a takeaway dinner for her husband and two children from the Alderley St outlet had been a regular habit. ‘Every week we get takeaway because we are always late with football and netball for the kids,” Mrs Steger said. “It is like a little treat.’ Mrs Steger said the weekly dinner stop would now come to an end. ‘It literally made me sick,’ she said.” w/ photo