“See, in a lot of instances, the bands you know as one-hit wonders are actually much more than that. So much so that having that one gigantic hit probably did more harm to their reputations than good, because it completely overshadowed all of the other great things they accomplished. Like who? Glad you asked! Here are five one-hit wonders who deserve your respect.” w/ photos

“Relax, terrible liars, I’m here to help. And, after consulting with experts in deceit, who may have been overstating their expertise now that I think about it, I’ve compiled the following guide to help you lie on your resume. To better illustrate this advice, I’ve also included sections from the resume I recently used to reapply for my position here at Cracked, a slightly humiliating chore we have to do semi-annually around here. It’s part of a morale-boosting exercise.” w/ photos

“Most of us will have felt the pain of a bee sting. Luckily most of us will have avoided the dreaded pain of a tarantula hawk or a fire ant. Justin Schmidt felt all three of these – and 147 other horrible, burning sensations – after a dedicated life-long career devoted to insects. On numerous fieldwork trips, The University of Arizona entomologist would find himself digging up living colonies of creatures, who in turn were not happy with this destructive human scooping them into bags – and promptly sank their fangs, stingers or pincers into him. Still, no pain, no gain, and Schmidt turned his experiences into the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, ranking 78 species in a list which, while subjective, was put together by the man who must surely know best, ranking their pain on a scale of 1 to 4.” w/ photos

“It’s no secret that most great accomplishments in human history made by men were done in the name of impressing the opposite sex. Men would not become astronauts if it did not afford them the opportunity to tell women at parties that they are astronauts. Yet, some men still find ways to go above and beyond — risking life, limb and country in the name of boobies.” w/ photos

“To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. It pays well (as we’ve pointed out before) and requires you to do nothing more than what you’d be doing anyway. And if you happen to help a childless couple along the way, that’s just icing on the cake. Having actually been a sperm donor, I can say that you had better be prepared for a long haul. There are a lot of (horrifying) hoops to jump through, and then sperm banks expect you to masturbate like… well, like it’s your job. And it’s not an easy one.” w/ photos

“Breakfast is one meal that loves company. Because what’s that stack of pancakes without the side of bacon, or the biscuits without their gravy? Check out some of the best combos gathered from across the web.” w/ photos

“Summer is the time for having adventures with your friends. And since it only lasts a couple of months, it’s important you don’t waste any time trying to decide which cocktails you’re going to drink. So here are the beverages that are guaranteed to help you and your pals have a completely awesome summer.” w/ photos

“Right now there are kids all over the world wearing their favorite band’s T-shirt and strumming an oddly sized air guitar in front of their mirror, nursing implausible dreams of some day getting to take the stage. Real life never works out that way, of course – liking something a lot in no way guarantees you’ll grow up to be any good at it. The closest we’ll ever get to our idols is when their bodyguards rough us up for trying to get an autograph. Most of the time, anyway. Sometimes you get stories like…” w/ photos

“What do you know about sex? Surely there aren’t many of you who would answer ‘nothing.’ Even if you’re the most inexperienced or inept lover of all time (which we’ve been assured you are), you at least have some preconceived notions about sex based on the stories and anecdotes and stand-up comedy you’ve heard over the years. But here’s the thing — even with all of that going for you, the real and correct answer is still probably ‘nothing.’ For instance, you probably think…” w/ photos

“Who says geeks have to be cooped up in some basement alone? It’s the 21st century. We’re fully capable of being cooped up in a basement with someone else. We build long lasting relationships over shared Mountain Dew and nights painting Warhammer figurines. In honor of geeky lovers everywhere, let’s pay tribute to some of love’s nerdiest moments.” w/ photos