“While walking across a sports arena the chances of getting hit by a wayward ball increases – but getting a chopstick through your chin at the same time doesn’t feature so highly. Chinese student Xiao Wei was walking across a basketball court toward a canteen carrying his lunch box and two chopsticks, when his mobile phone rang. What happened next is the main reason mum’s tell their kids not to put things in their mouths. While reaching to answer his phone, Xiao put the chopsticks in his mouth and just as he was answering a ball flew into him skewering one chopstick right through the bottom of his jaw. Ouch. Depicted above is the damaged caused by the culinary tool, which is used (far more responsibly) by over a billion people in China and millions more across the world. We think it’s safe to say Xiao will always check over his shoulder before sitting down to eat, just to make sure there are no ball games in action.” w/ photo

“At first glance it may appear like a harmless holiday fun, cute monkeys performing a succession of tricks for amused tourists. The star performers at Samui Monkey Theatre bounce around playing musical instruments and interacting with visitors to their show in southern Thailand. But these happy pictures disguise a different story – and scores of tourists have taken to travel website tripadvisor to describe their disgust at the appalling treatment of the animals. Viewers of the show on the Thai resort island of Koh Sumui described the performance as ‘shameful’ and ‘horrific’ after watching trained and physically weak monkeys perform demeaning tricks while stood in their own excrement. While some tourists appear to find the lengthy animal show hilarious, others vented their shock at what they saw inside the theatre. Male and female macaque monkeys are made to hold small guitars and throw balls into basketball nets, all the time with rope leashes around their necks to minimise their movement. Others are forced to interact with tourists and are abused and pelted with stones if they do no perform.” w/ photos

“Cocaine blocks the reuptake of catecholamines and is, therefore, a potent vasoconstrictor. Many of the complications of use, such as cardiac arrhythmias, strokes, and convulsions are secondary to this effect. Severe ischemia can also lead to “midline” necrosis of the nasal septum and/or the palate – as in this case. Sniffing cocaine can cause  symptoms of chronic rhinosinusitis, with rebound edema of the mucosa similar to that seen with chronic use of neosynephrine nasal sprays. Other causes of midline necrosis – most notably Wegener’s granulomatosis – must be considered in cases such as this. Of note is that cocaine-induced midline necrosis can be associated with a positive ANCA test directed against neutrophil elastase.” w/ photo

“Wait for it… wait for it… OH SHIT!!!”

“Animal cruelty officials are investigating the case of a poor pooch that was found encased in a block of ice on a man’s front lawn in British Columbia, Canada. The man in Dawson Creek, B.C., about 460 miles northeast of Vancouver, told authorities he noticed the giant ice cube sitting in front of his house on Jan. 15, CBC News reported. When he went to check it out, he was shocked to find a dog’s frozen corpse trapped inside. Marcie Moriarty, general manager of cruelty investigations for the B.C. Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said that the ice appeared to have been made from a large rubber bin. ‘It’s a bizarre and upsetting case,’ she said. SPCA officials said the 40-pound female pup was likely dead before it was placed into the bin and frozen, and had wounds that suggested it had been killed by another animal, CBC reported.” w/ photos

“While fingering her I noticed something very odd on the right interior wall of her vagina. I thought maybe it was a tumor or some sort of growth, then I noticed it moved around. It was pretty small… definitely not a forgotten tampon. There was something suspicious going on. I asked myself… when the hell is the point in time when you just give up trying to get something out of your vagina. Like… if you’re cleaning it and something gets stuck, what is it, 5 minutes? 10 minutes? When you just say “fuck it” and leave it there for your body to absorb? There was SOMETHING of chunky nature lodged in the corner of her vag. She must have put it there. Did she forget about it? Maybe she has ADD and it kicked in at an awkward moment… I thought it might have been poop at first but then I realized that didn’t make any sense. What the hell is going on? I end up fingering her more, she’s squirming, then I ninja this mystery artifact out of her vagina. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I just covertly threw it under my bed for later analysis. Maybe she noticed and didn’t say anything. Either way I’m excited, curious, and scared all at the same time. For the rest of the night all I could think about was “what the fuck did I just put under my bed.” I was fucking her and I thought about this. I was kissing her and I thought about it. When we were done I just sat there and thought about it. What the hell was that thing?… It’s time to find out.” w/ photos

“A concrete worker walked into a hospital with his arm in a yellow bin bag after it was torn off by heavy machinery – and calmly asked docs to sew it back on again. Romanian Miheal Ionescu, 51, who works at a factory making concrete at Iasi in northern Romania, had his arm ripped off in the work accident, and stuffed it in a bin bag – before getting a pal to drive him to the hospital. Nine doctors then spent 12 hours working to reattach the arm of the man from Falticeni. Hospital spokesman Doctor Tudor Ciuhodaru at the local St John’s Hospital in the city said: “The man was clearly in shock, which is why he could remain so calm. He is now in intensive care.” w/ photos

“A baby elephant was saved by its herd after being caught by the trunk by a crocodile. The scene was captured by amateur photographer Johan Opperman while taking pictures of a family of African bush elephants grazing by a water hole and cooling down. Under the watchful eye of its family, the young elephant headed to the edge of the waterhole to grab a drink. However, a crocodile pounced on the youngster, hoping for a kill by locking its jaws around its trunk. Hearing the baby’s distress calls, the herd of elephants scared off the reptile by trumpeting and stamping around. After the attack the herd stayed with the youngster. Once the herd decided all was well, they crossed the dam together, just a few feet from where the crocodile had been hiding.” w/ photo

“Most of humanity strikes me as being apes only with much less hair.” — Tyrfingr

“Manila is one of the world’s most overpopulated cities. The Philippine capital is stretched to breaking point, with mothers four to a bed in maternity wards, primary schools with a thousand children in each year, and graveyards with no more room to bury the dead. As the world faces an overpopulation crisis, Manila provides a vision of what might become ordinary in the not too distant future. The biggest maternity hospital in the city operates on an industrial scale, with four mothers and their babies sharing each bed. The ward is at double capacity when the team arrive, and it’s so overcrowded that the nurses have to patrol it to make sure no one is sleeping on their babies and suffocating them.”