“A man in rural Chickasha, Okla. is under arrest after an unsuccessful attempt to steal a chainsaw, but putting it in his shorts. “I felt sorry for him, I thought the gentleman was crippled,” one employee said as he described what the thief looked like walking through the store. An employee chased the man outside. He reportedly dropped the chainsaw and climbed a tree. He apparently jumped into a creek but was cornered as he tried to get away… the 21-year-old appeared to be intoxicated when he was arrested.”

“Hello and welcome to OLD MEMEs. Seriously, newfags need to learn their place and leave Internet humor alone. As for the ‘stars’ of this train wreck, your 15 minutes are over, get on with your life.” — chasoepoch

“Finally, a Holiday I can get behind. In fact, let’s replace Valentines Day with Phil Collins Day. Oh, and Christmas? Let’s replace it with another Phil Collins Day.” — raggedy

“This is my buddy Boris proudly showing off his ‘shaving helmet’. My roommate Kenny volunteered for the demonstration.” — mattinbrooklyn

“This is Jerome Smith, a heavily-tattooed 29-year-old arrested on suspicion of assaulting a pregnant woman. Smith, from Cincinnati, Ohio, is alleged to have hit the woman, who is eight-months gone, in the head with a gun… But his tattooed face has the misspelled word ‘Jenius’ on his forehead. The ‘J’ may be a cursive ‘G’, in which case Smith should have demanded a refund from the tattooist for their amateur work.” w/ photo

“This is what happens when stoners remember the ideas they have when they are high.”

“Mrs. Jazz Ison Sinkfield had a interview with Doug Richard from 11 Alive News about her nails that she has been growing for now over 22yrs… Mrs. Jazz is a proud mother of 5 & a dedicated grandmother of 10… Just take a look for yourself.” — MrDSink

“Haha, it’s no helmet. If you fall, not only will the fish die, but you’d have glass in your eye… and that rhymes!” — thenerdal

“Brian came up with an interesting PC cooling setup. He lives up north where it’s chilly in the winter. Using a bit of dryer ductwork and he was able to harness the outside air to cool his box. The system uses a window insert along with a dryer hood to suck in the outside air with a PC fan. We hope the air is adequately warmed, as it is exhausted into the room.” w/ photos

“This is just like Tremors… we didn’t kill the original Snuggies fast enough, now they’ve evolved and they’re back to kick some ass in the sequel.” — techwiz81