Scorpion Vodka


As you can see, Scorpion Vodka contains a walloping great scorpion. And it’s not just any old scorpion. This particular pickled arachnid has been specially bred in southern China and is totally safe to eat. So they tell us. The word is that each pincer-wielding beastie (infused in the vodka for three months before hitting the shelves) has undergone a special detoxifying process. This neutralizes the scorpion’s venom, making it 100% edible, tail n’ all!” w/ photos

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Firestarter Vodka


It only takes one careless moment for a party to start, and in just a matter of minutes your whole home can become filled with loud music and lively guests – you need to make sure you have the Firestarter Vodka to hand. Containing a 5x platinum filtered vodka distilled from winter wheat, this ‘Class V’ cannister is suitable for any type of social gathering. In the event of a party, remember to always call your friends before even attempting to use the Firestarter.” w/ photos

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The Robocup


“Once just a regular street cup; preventing muggings in a dystopian metropolis, only to be murdered and horrifically disfigured, then revived into a cyborg law enforcer. His prime directives: 1. To serve the public (hot drinks) 2. Protect the innocent and 3. Uphold the law. He is… RoboCup. Constructed from a superhuman hybrid of flesh, steel and ceramics; the stern, unwavering mouth of Alex Murphy (AKA Hank Hill) commands the respect of all those who cross him.” w/ photos

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Electronic Drum Machine T-Shirt


The Electronic Drum Machine T-Shirt takes the idea of portable beat-making to a whole new level, with 8 touch-sensitive drum pads and a portable speaker attached, you can literally wear your drums. With 9 different kits ranging from vintage 808s to classic Jazz, and even some very familiar video game sounds, you’ve got whole soundscapes at your fingertips. Plus, the loop function allows you to record complex rhythms, adding new layers as you go.” w/ photos

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World’s Largest Sphero


“Pay cheques. Televisions. McDonald’s food. Butts. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that as a rule of thumb, bigger is better. So much better. Presumably this is why the geniuses at Orbotrix thought it would be a grand idea to create the World’s Largest Sphero. Blessed with all the features of the original that we know and love; you can still control it with your mobile device or tablet, take it for a quick spin, play games, entertain your pets, and a whole lot more – it’s just like the original Sphero, only much much much bigger. 2500x bigger in fact.” w/ photos

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Patrick Bateman Business Card Holder


“It’s very cool but it’s nothing. It’s no Eggshell with Romalian type, and you evidently hadn’t even considered using raised lettering, Pale Nimbus, white. Is something wrong? You’re sweating. Someone else will always have a better business card. And if that mere notion makes you want to listen to Huey Lewis and the News, stick on a raincoat and start axing some prostitutes then we’ve got just the thing. Keep your fragile mask of sanity firmly in place as well as your mediocre business cards with the Patrick Bateman Business Card Holder.” w/ photos

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Shine 24k Gold Rolling Papers


Roll up, roll up! If you enjoy a smoke, deal exclusively in golden bullions and have an imposing bejewelled grill instead of actual teeth, then do we we have the plush puffing paraphernalia for you – Shine 24k Gold Rolling Papers. One box contains twelve extravagant sheets of slow-burning and perfectly edible 24 carat gold leaf paper. It’s dead easy to stick and it burns slowly and evenly. Expensive you say? Perhaps these aren’t for you. Only the very purest 24k gold can be used in order for the papers to be edible with no other impurities – they’re going in between your cherished chops after all.” w/ photos

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